Soul Insurance

Time to insure your eternal American Soul?

Do you want absolute proof of Gods existence?

(in the form of a digital certificate*)

 

“These digital certificates* will be the absolute proof of My Light upon the world!

Yay verily, it''s not as if anyone could claim anything about something metaphysical, create some shonky website, and then sell these things falsely.

Next you'll be telling me that Freedom isn't free!
Pull the other one, 'tis bells on it, I say!
Hail me!”
Luke 172:22-23

It’s funny how we are so concerned over things we have purchased.
Those items are here today and will be gone tomorrow. 

What if your Soul is Raptured TODAY?

In maybe, like, the next 15 minutes?  
Ours is the Only Soul Insurance Policy that has bundled in Rapture Protection for Free!
*We will send you literally nothing.